Everybody's talking about the Academy Awards that aired last night.

We had gentle mild weather over the weekend, which was a nice break from the cold and chill. I took my older son to the playground. We played hockey and threw a football around, and slid on the slides, growling at each other.

When I'm not with my kids, I miss them terribly. I am fighting for more time with them, but things are difficult for a dad with no money and a bitter ex-wife living with her idiot parents.

That's a story for another blog, I suppose.

Today I am working late at work, having spent the day in relative corporate agony, putting up with trite conversation, nosy coworkers, and someone in the next cubicle who wants to make my life miserable by being a mindless twerp of a bitch. I'm not usually this antagonized by these things, or at least not to the point that I mention it here, and I don't know what was different about today that has put me into such a bad mood. Everything is making me angry today. I'm listening to a CD on my computer and simply loading web pages for some reason is making my mp3 player hesitate. Incredibly annoying. This bitch at work caused me extra work, which we found out today, by simply not doing her job. I don't mind cleaning up the shit, but you'd think they'd at least pay me what a shit-cleaner-upper makes.

I have hopes that I will get another job soon. There is a possibility that something will come up soon that would make me a little happier. Perhaps it's that possibility that is putting my nerves more on edge at this place. And perhaps it's also that I had to bring my kids back to their mother yesterday and today. And also maybe that my girlfriend is working late all week and going into training to be a cop. I'll never see her anymore, and I'll worry every minute about her safety. The people around here aren't necessarily dangerous, but they're stupid, and often, that's worse.

I hate stupid people. I am surrounded by stupidity and the demonstrated futility of the potential for human reasoning. I am surrounded by panic and sadness. I am surrounded by fear and revenge. And the only good things in my life either I have to return every other Monday to more bitterness or I never see because life is getting in the way. Money and bills and stress.

Nobody likes a whiner.


- posted by seanmh @ 6:14 PM