Every day a dream is shattered. Who am I kidding? Every day millions of dreams are shattered, at least. Some big, some small. Lots of dream pieces laying on the ground, because that's only as low as gravity will take them. And they lay there in pieces, not going anywhere, not blowing away, not to be swept up by anything or anyone. Like dirt, turning to a heavy mud in our tears.

Another dream was broken today. The woman I love dearly was refused entrance into her profession of choice because she was honest about past illicit behavior. I'll admit I wasn't very gung-ho of her choice of professions (in this case), but I supported her decision and believed in her, and this comes as sad news to me, because I know how much it meant to her and I know how excited she was about it.

It's amazing what can happen during the course of twenty-four hours. In about that amount of time, I personally experienced the thrill of having money coming in, the comfort that it brought (and bought), the devastation of it being delayed, the panic and then the ease, when a short-term solution was managed, and, conversely, the general warm nervousness about her upcoming test, and her going away to another city for the day, and then excitement and anxiety about what happened, and then the extreme disappointment and sadness upon her return with the news.

Sometimes I feel like I can't go on. But in many ways, I'm impressed daily with what we as humans manage to endure. If our life were a roller coaster, they'd have shut it down years ago for being too dangerous. Life is not a roller coaster. Life is a trainwreck that we constantly live through, looking for other rails.


- posted by seanmh @ 3:23 PM