The thing is, I've been depressed.

Not, like, sad. That's not what I mean. I mean depressed, as in the more clinical definition of the thing. Unmotivated, feeling worthless, empty. That kind of thing.

I have another blog which I haven't touched in weeks. Both of these were going great for a while and now, well, not much.

I wrote a long poem last night in a sketchy setting. Often, sketchy settings inspire me a bit. I was slightly inspired, even though I don't think it was really all that coherent or meaningful. But, at least I wrote something.

I'm thinking about going home soon. What I mean is, I'm going home soon, and I'm thinking about it. The house will be empty, except for our dogs, who are great, but they're just dogs after all. There are really only three people in the entire world who I look forward to seeing these days. And by these days I mean the last seven months or more. My boys and my girlfriend. Everyone else can go blow. And none of them will be at my house when I get home. No one will be there, just me and our dogs.

I'll eat something. Probably some potato chips. I have a bag of Lay's Limited Edition Montery Pepper Jack potato chips. They're pretty good. I'll probably have some of those. Maybe I'll make some crappy soup. There's a chicken in the fridge, chicken in the fridge, chicken in the fridge (take-off), but even though it's a baby chicken, it's huge and overwhelming to think about cooking it.

It's raining out. My office has the heat turned up. Therefore it's stuffy.

I'm in a writing contest. I find out in the next two days if I advance to the next round (there's only two rounds). I always lose things like that.

So, there it is, for now. Maybe more later.

Man, I just read this. What a bunch of angst crap. Sorry.



- posted by seanmh @ 3:59 PM