Maybe.

Maybe if the copy machine guy brought donuts, none of this would have happened.

Ah, life. Sometimes I just want to take life and squeeze it like a Hitler doll. Rip its head off. I could dream of voodoo and go back in time. I could change the world, if life were a Hitler doll.

What’s up with war, anyway? All this killing and destruction. Maybe if we didn’t throw away our Tonka trucks and G.I. Joes when we turned twelve none of this would have happened.

And have you heard about this religion thing? Nuts, I tell you. It’s fucking nuts.

Maybe if dreams were on highways, things would be different.

I didn’t learn how to punch people until I was in the 9th grade. It was too late. Kids don’t get into fights in the 9th grade unless it’s really serious. People can get hurt once puberty takes over. Kids get heavier, muscles grow, anger becomes real. I got into lots of fights prior to high school, but I never knew how to punch a kid. They used to make my nose bleed. That was the thing. If you were 9 years old and you could make someone’s nose bleed with your fist, you were the man. Nosebleeds ended all fights. They were out of control. You’d have to run home with darkening blood spreading out on the chest of your shirt, you’d have to run home, where mommy’s cool hands held the back of your neck and the damp cloth to your nose and asked you what happened like she didn’t really know. Like she didn’t really know. Or maybe even though she knew she wasn’t being completely coy but rather she was maybe being stubbornly ignorant. Maybe if he doesn’t want to tell me what happened, maybe she thought, then maybe it didn’t happen. Maybe it just started bleeding. Maybe it was a rock from the sky. Maybe everything will be all right, and it won’t ever ever happen again.

I’ve never punched anyone, not really. And even though I have to admit that there have been some people who’ve made me so angry that I wanted to hit them, I think more people have wanted to hit me than the other way around. I fight with my words. Nobody taught me how to do that, but it works the best. I’m self-trained. I have a black belt in ink fighting. We call it Pen Fu.

Watch out.


- posted by seanmh @ 11:23 AM